Manchester Matchmaker: "Independent Women Scare Men Off"



Manchester Matchmaker: "Independent Women Scare Men Off"

Feminist L'Oréal Blackett asks 'Love Cook' Jane Rapin if she'll end up a lonely cat lady...

Written by  L'Oreal Blackett | Follow @loreal_b | Wednesday, 30 March 2016 11:33

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I HAD limbered up for a war of words. A feminist v non feminist slinging match. I cracked my neck and threw some Rocky air punches prior to meeting Matchmaker Jane Rapin. I had assumed we weren’t going to get along.

You’re a feminine woman, your desire to have a kids and husband is no less relevant than someone who wants a career

While a certified 'Love Cook' from Bury, Rapin’s press release made me roll my eyes so viciously it gave me a migraine.

It read:

‘…no woman is a feminist, and strong, independent women scare men off and ultimately all women really want to do is look after their man.’

‘She wants dating to feel more traditional, where men and women know their roles.’

‘…a way to man’s heart is through his stomach.’

Cue a ceremonious slam of my head to my desk.

You have to understand, at 27-years-old I was born when Thatcher was still Britain’s first woman Prime Minister; I grew up singing pro-woman, sassy and assured ‘girl power’ tunes by the Spice Girls and Destiny’s Child:

“The shoes on my feet. I bought ‘em! The house I live in. I bought it! All the women who's independent, throw your hands up at me!”

At 12, I waved my little hands.

Today you’ll find me debating whether to free the nipple, grumbling over tampon taxes, tweeting about slut-shaming and unequal pay, while proving I can be educated and twerk to hip-hop on a Friday night with no judgements. My empowered generation of women is currently dyeing its long armpit hair pink because it doesn’t give a shit, for goodness sakes.

And we’re told we’ll find men to love us and our fierceness anyway.  ‘Gender roles’? What’s that?

But I’m single – very single - so what do I know? Could I really be a victim of my own strength, independence, and Beyoncé-fuelled sass?

“It's interesting how independence works. You either refuse to settle, which I’d be happy with as I don’t want people to settle, or it can make you so choose-y that you lose sight of what you really want in a relationship,” thinks Rapin.