WOMEN 'SHOULD NOT WEAR SKIRTS AFTER 39' SAYS STUDY
Women 'Should Not Wear Mini-Skirts After 39' Says Study
BY THE time you reach any milestone past the age of 21, we’d be inclined to suggest you do whatever you damn well please. You’ve earned your adult stripes, after all.
After 43 you should walk past the queues of nightclubs, shoulders back, chest out – tits and teeth
Passing through your thirties, hopefully you're now rid of adolescent angst, the muddled uncertainty and intoxicated chaos that dictated your twenties, but now you’re careering right into a mid-life crisis.
Fingers crossed you'll emerge triumphant, albeit a little out of shape and out of breath. With that said, if you want to wear frayed bootcut jeans with snakeskin boots and grow a purple goatee then that’s your own business. Of course, social conventions may advise against it... killjoys.
Sadly, as time ticks on socially wrought dos and don’ts are inflicted on the more mature members of society. And in one recent study they’ve had the decency to put them all in one handy list - just in case you were still wearing gold lamé shorts in your forties (you hear that Kylie? You too Jennifer Lopez).
Researchers from Retire Savvy (naturally) recently polled 2,000 Brits and found the majority believe discos should be avoided once you hit 44, and visiting infamous European night-club hotspots should be forbidden for those over 39.
It goes on to state that by the age of 40, folks should forget about going on holidays without their family or partner in tow, whilst at 41 it is considered 'inappropriate' to have an interest in reality TV.
Women should also ditch the mini-skirt once they turn 39, while men should stop wearing trainers at the age of 49 (er what about during exercise? You can’t jog in wingtips, can you?)